The Value of Good Suffering
Negativity is a disease. It’s contagious, it corrupts your mind, it clouds your judgment. When something goes wrong with life, many will find themselves locked up in resentment and pessimism.
In sharp contrast with people who lived 100 years ago, we have a wide range of opportunities to pursue, all kinds of entertainment, groceries delivered to our house, virtual reality, cheap electronics, and the list goes on. Yet, mental health is something that has been worsening globally for decades. Technology has solved many economic problems at the cost of giving us new psychological problems.
There are many reasons for this affliction, but the outcome is always the same — people who get overwhelmed with negative thoughts, lose the ability to be in charge of their lives.
The modern social environment is obsessed with unrealistically positive expectations, filling us with the desire for success and perfection in every step. Many believe that the key to a good life is to have more, be more, and experience more. As such, they waste their precious time doing things they don’t like, in order to achieve things they don’t need and to experience things they can’t enjoy. And then, they die.
People no longer suffer their crisis on a material level, but spiritual.
You won’t see it much, since the pressure built by media makes everyone present the best version of themselves. Thus, many people have a false perception that they are the only one who struggles, but it’s a delusion. Charismatic managers are often losers in their personal lives. Celebrities have a divorce rate of around 40% within a ten-year period. Youtubers are locked up in a vicious circle of depression, as they are to come up with brand-new content on daily basis to make their hungry audience happy.
Everything is in your mind
We all suffer from difficult times, caused either by our own mistakes, other people’s actions, actual world-wide events, or the combination of all. Everyone has demons who get fed whenever we stumble. And the more sorrow we have, the more powerful they become.
Life is full of suffering. No matter what you do, there will always be failures, loss, regrets, incidental misfortune. One day, you can surf the echelons, and the other day, you will be picking pieces of your efforts from the ruins.
But that’s life. It’s natural. Still, it’s something that many people who are too struggling for success in their profession, and desire for recognition, can’t acknowledge. And when the storm hits and high wings pick up, they can’t deal with it, as they are lacking in wisdom, lacking in self-perception, lacking in empathy.
Pursuing empty goals is one of the top-rated regrets people on deathbeds have. What they eventually get to value, is the very experience of life along the way. Profession achievements are exciting and great — they fill you with joy and pleasure, they don’t have any lasting significance, though. Whatever makes us happy today won’t bring us the same happiness tomorrow — the evolution of the human brain has seen fit to make it so. You climb Mont Blanc and your ego won’t be satisfied until you have climbed Everest.
Challenge your thoughts
A meaningful and happy life stems from a healthy mind. Happiness is a choice. It’s nothing more than a transposition of the state of mind. We don’t always control what happens to us, but we can control how we take it.
Therefore, instead of worrying about your goals, when life has taken a more serious turn, you should challenge your thoughts and embrace everything that has happened to you. View it as a chance to shift your perspective, and experience a new life transition. It is known that the greatest revelations come from facing the void, instead of scrambling to make it go away. Eventually, you may realize that the things you pursued most are those that never needed to be pursued.
Life without emotional suffering is boring. It won’t elevate your spirit, it won’t infuse you with wisdom, it won’t teach you how to cherish what you have! Surprisingly, the most stressful moments in your life have the most lasting significance that shapes your personality. Moreover, it hardens your mind and helps you overcome the next storms faster.
When you first lose someone you loved, you will experience tremendous grief, because you have a narrow experience to draw on. The 5th loss adds little. The same applies to any other form of suffering.
Embrace gratefulness
Be grateful and embrace gratefulness, no matter what happened. Stop worrying about what is beyond the power of your will, and focus on things that matter to you. That’s to say, you must have a good relationship with the world.
If you encourage your gratefulness, either by showing your appreciation to someone, contributing to your local community, your family, or your friends, you will withstand any storm and come out of it as a better person. You’ll get wonderful things out of that.
Hang out with positive people
Negative energy is contagious. If you hang out with someone who complains all the time, you will end up imitating their behavior. Such a friendship often spills over into constant attempts to exchange complaints above a glass of beer. People often try to escape their problems through their emotions for each other.
Hanging out with optimistic people, on the other hand, will inspire you to think differently. Think positive and surround yourself with people of positive thinking. Don’t miss out on any important moment in your life with people who are not worth investing your energy.
Don’t blame anyone
Blame defers adversity since it makes someone else responsible. In general, complaining about circumstances outside of your control brings short-term satisfaction, yet it’s terrible for your mental health. When there is someone to be held responsible for your suffering, you instinctively hate. Hatred is a by-product of fear that twists your mind. Don’t hate.
Find your purpose
Why are you here? What purpose do you want to serve? How would you like to contribute to this world? If you don’t know where are you going, you will drift around and never end up anywhere. That’s to say, if you don’t have a purpose, your life will fall into the void and eventual spiritual misery. You must have something to hold on to.
Nevertheless, don’t mistake your purpose for your aspirations or career goals. Find a purpose that will elevate your spiritual self, not your bank account or job title.
Don’t miss out
The storm comes and goes, the tide rises and falls, the morning breaks and the darkness falls — everything is seasonal. The only thing that is final is death. You are going to die and each time you spend lamenting your misfortune will rob you of valuable life experience. You are going to die because you were extremely lucky to have been born.
Therefore, don’t miss out on anything, I say. Commit yourself to your gratefulness, and consider how great it is to be alive. Don’t hope for a life without suffering. Hope for a life full of suffering that will bring you a monumental shift.
And when the storm comes, just lower your sails, turn your face up to the light, and explore new revelations that submerge in your mind. Enjoy the present moment, in the full glare, no matter if you are up or down, and make your footsteps echo through the corridors of time.
Don’t miss out!
Fear them not therefore: for there is nothing covered, that shall not be revealed; and hid, that shall not be known. What I tell you in darkness, that speak ye in light. Mathew 10:26
